DAY 2 (first day of period): OW OW OW SON OF A BITCH OW OW FUCK OW...SHIT! It slipped out. Ok, fold in half, then insert...OW OW OW MOTHERFUCKER...ok.. It's in. Now, time to pull up the ol' pants and take this baby for a test drive...hmm, that's chafing a little bit, maybe I put it to far in...ooo that's chafing a lot. I definitely put it too far in. Good thing the package says easy removal...(25 minutes later) Oh Christ, this mooncup has vacuum-sealed itself to my cervix and it's not coming out!! This is what I get for trying to save the fucking planet! Fuck you, planet!! If I ever get this goddamn cup out of my vagina, im going to throw it right in the ocean and hope a dolph--oh, you just pinch the end and slide it out.
DAY 3 Ok, I've got this figured out. I slide it in so the stem hangs pretty low, then when I need to take it out, I just push like I'm gonna poop and then pinch the bottom of the cup part and pull. Ok, yeah, mooncup! Woo! Ok, going to insert it now..ok..on three..one..two..three *cringe*....that wasn't nearly as bad as last time. Huh, this is kinda comfy. Not as comfy as my soft, lovely tampons, but mooncups won't give you toxic shock syndrome
DAY 4: This mooncup business isn't so bad. I thought I was betraying my chain-smoking, wouldn't-know-flax-seed-if-it-bit-me-in-the-ass self by buying this earth-mother hippy thing. But first and foremost, I'm a cheap bastard and thirty-five dollars now is way better than 200 dollars over 10 years on tampons. Yeah, my fingers get bloody when I empty it out and wipe it off, but that's more time I spend in the bathroom and less time I spend at work. Plus, periods never really grossed me out, which is probably a pre-requisite to getting one of these things.
DAY 5: Good morning, mooncup! Isn't it a lovely morning? Look at you, all ergonomic and hypo-allergenic, what a darling you are! Oh, how nice! I can leave you in all night on my heavy flow day, and you dont leak all over my sheets! You're too kind. Oh mooncup, I'm so glad I bought you, lets be friends forever. Or at least for the duration of your ten year warranty.
www.mooncup.co.uk
www.thekeeper.com
2 comments:
The Keeper is awesome. I've got one and the first few days really suck with it; there's definitely a period of adjustment but getting used to it, you really wonder what you did without it.
this blog made me crack up! the author described it almost exactly how i remembered starting to use it. it was great to read someone else's thought process going throught the same thing. and i think it's great to bring it up. sad to say, but reading this makes me feel more o.k. when using it. i love the keepers/divas/moons cause they're great for females and using them is sustainable. hilarious blog! should be extended
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