Invasion of the Body Snatchers by Kat

From the Geek Corner:

The all-inclusive genre of speculative fiction (the technical term for science fiction and fantasy used only by the professionals and the hopelessly pretentious) is the Paris Hilton Vagina of the literary world. Nothing gets turned away by SF: it’s got elements of queer lit, adventure, romance, erotica, anything else you could possibly imagine. SF by its very definition breaks the rules of categorization, and this outlaw attitude within the genre allows for more experimentation than most other breeds of literature – sexual or otherwise.

Since most SF (other than the media darlings of the genre: Eragon, Harry Potter, and the like) is still fairly underground, writers have the opportunity to really delve into and explore more taboo topics without the fear of having publishing companies breathing down their necks. SF novels tend to serve any of these three purposes: they can be reflections of the sexual mores of our own society, they can experiment with sex as weird as they like, and they can be introductions to the kinkier side of sex for people who may not have had any other experience with it.

The Merro Tree, by Katie Waitman, is a perfect example, though sadly out of print. The main character, a humanoid alien, has a long-term relationship with another male alien, who is the equivalent of a large, sentient snake. The premise of this is of course to mirror our own society – although homosexual sex is not seen as necessarily bad, inter-species sex is illegal and immoral. The book has no explicit sex between the humanoid and the snake – the mechanics are mind-boggling – but there are enough soft-core examples to make it relevant, both with the snake and with a female jelly-alien. The comparison here isn’t with social acceptance of sex with amoebas and boa constrictors in our society, but rather with sexual acceptance in general. If you’re in love, Waitman says, or are bored, or just really want to have it off with a jelly-alien, you should be able to do so.

There are also books whose sex scenes are not meant to serve some high-handed academic purpose, but are in there just because the author felt like it. Neil Gaiman’s American Gods is one of these. In the second chapter of the book, the ancient queen of Sheba, here portrayed as a modern-day prostitute, swallows her john with her vagina.

He opens his eyes. … This is what he sees:

He is inside her to the chest, and as he stares at this in disbelief and wonder she rests both hands upon his shoulders and puts gentle pressure on his body. He slipslides further into her.

“How are you doing this to me?” he asks, or he thinks he asks, but perhaps it is only in his head.

“You’re doing it, honey,” she whispers. He feels the lips of her vulva tight around his upper chest and back, constricting and enveloping him. Neil Gaiman, American Gods, p. 30 American paperback

What is the significance of this? Well, for many people, it’s the first departure from vanilla sex in their young lives.
Yes –reading about someone being swallowed by a vagina can get you hot. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone has pristine Hollywood missionary position sex. It’s a big step for a preteen to make. The first fantasy book I purchased independently of my parents, at the age of ten, was a book called The Iron Dragon’s Daughter, which took on both tasks – the mirroring of society (in this case the problem of street kids and gangs) and including weird sex for the hell of it, of which there was a lot. In fact, this book was one of the first sexually explicit novels that I read, and my first exposure to fetishes and kink.

As more kids get into SF through Harry Potter, through Eragon, through Diana Wynne Jones and Ender’s Game, they’ll eventually stumble across the more obscure, boundary-pushing literature– engendering, perhaps, a greater tolerance for alternate sexualities, and, if nothing else, providing titillating masturbatory fantasies for geeky kids too young to fuck.

"Sextraterrestrial" by Andy Maloney, "Adventure!" by Kat B

THE CLUB BACCHUS EXPERIENCE by Stewart Campbell

For those of you who aren’t from the greater Wooster area, Club Bacchus is one of those mythically sketchy, but very public, places particular to small towns. One of those places that everyone knows about, but few have ever gone to. Despite the strong anti-vice sentiment of the town (the adult video store in Wooster, previously located on Liberty near Beall, was closed down after months if not years of protest that this sort of establishment is not to be supported in our "Godly" town. "Jesus doesn't like sex" some signs read) Club Bacchus persisted and rumors of its seedinees have inspired legions of legends. As a group of five strip-bar virgins, some of us writers for Head, we decided we had to visit. Last Monday, the 22nd, was the night of the premier of “Grindhouse Massacre”, a B-horror flick produced by the local Rottweiler Productions and starring some of the girls who work at Bacchus. Malt liquor in hand to act as a social, and intellectual, lube, we headed out.

After driving around the wrong side of town for 20 minutes, the car finally pulled into the tiny little parking lot of Club Bacchus. The first sign of play (some may say foul play) came in the form of a rather stocky man who stared us down from the cab of his truck until we were far enough away for him to resume whatever he was doing with his special lady friend in the front seat. The first step through those tinted windows was like a time warp. The black lights reflecting off of the stainless steel poles was reminiscent of a knock-off Studio 54. The cloud of cigarette smoke brought us back to the days before the smoking ban. The focus of the room was a slick, wooden stage surrounded by VIP chairs for the customers who wanted the pay-per-view experience. After we gave our ID's and got our wristbands from the shaky doorman we were greeted by stares and a silence that made me feel like I had interupted a religious ceremony of neither our time nor place. The men's bathroom consisted of both a urinal and a toilet behind a swinging door with no locks, but just enough space for a mid-show quickie. Strip clubs, I soon realized, took a particular brand of courage which I felt I would have been incapable of mustering had it been a show-girl kind of night.

After we were done bartering with the guy next to us for a King Cobra (he wanted to recapture his childhood), the movie started. The Grindhouse Massacre, which could have easily been another tit fest, turned out to be a surprisingly feminist commentary on the sexual exploitation of women within B-horror. A busty blonde named Mistress Midnight has just been told that her movies aren't selling. No one, from her producer (and agent) who threatens to drop her, to the director who claims he can't push her movies, believes that B-horror film can be a success without at least a little skin. After commiserating with a quartet of goth rockers, Midnight takes it upon herself to torture and kill her director and every actress in town who contributes to the cheapening of the genre she loves so much, making a home movie of the acts. There were a few especially gory scenes, but none beat the first murder. Midnight makes a deal with her director: She promises to sleep with him, if he promises to push every last one of her previous movies. When he comes over to her house later that evening, she makes him use some of her pre-made, acid-laced lube. The director starts complaining that the lube burns and goes into the bathroom. We still can’t figure out the director’s official cause of death, but we got to see his penis disintegrate in his hands. The ‘Oooooooos!!’ from the men in the audience were deafening.

As great as the film was, the crowd was a lot better. Thirty minutes and 40 ounces later, everybody was friends. Laura was engrossed in a conversation with three guys about their explosive diarrhea, Meredith was in the bathroom having a heart to heart with a redhead named Tabitha about her relationship, and Paul was trying to catch the eye of the Lowry cafeteria worker sitting at the bar. In the afterglow of surviving the infamous Club Bacchus we had a dance party in one of our dorms. Being back in the comfort of my room, surrounded by friends, it dawned on me how uneasy I had felt at the club. Seeing these women, these strippers, sitting at tables with their friends nursing a beer, reminded me that had I done some things differently, I could be in a place very similar to theirs. I once heard a story about a stripper who was paying her way through mortician school. Everyone's got a story to tell, but some you may not enjoy hearing.

SUBSCRIPTION by Craig Ruse

the old men and

the retards come

in the early mornings

to buy their

jerkoff magazines

while no one else

is around.

the old men try

to hide and stare

at the ground.

stacking their shame

between Guns and Ammo

and Sports Illustrated.

the retards come in

tired and smiling

from the night shift

at the grocery store.

they comment on the weather,

and politely ask

for a Hustler.

Plug and Play

by Liz Miller

There’s an exciting new way to “sync” with your iPod. The latest buzz in autoerotic pleasure is the OhMiBod vibrator and it’s completely compatible with your other favorite pocket rocket, the iPod.

Again, that’s an iPod plus a vibrator, not to be confused with the iVibe (another kind of vibrator that doesn’t hook up to your iPod). It’s kind of brilliant, and it seems to be catching on quickly. That is, catching on for everyone except Apple.

Jolene, an Apple customer service representative, told this reporter that she’d never heard of the techno-toy. In fact, our conversation went a little bit like this:

Jolene: Thank you for calling Apple, my name is Jolene, how may I help you today?

Liz: Well, um, I’m looking for an iPod toy, and I was hoping you could help me.

Jolene: Sure, are you talking about the iCat or the iDog?

[Those are the cute plastic creatures that bop their heads to the beat of the music, kind of like a more sophisticated dancing flower, if you remember those.]

Liz: Kind of, but it’s a different kind of animal. I’m looking for a vibrator.

Jolene: Uh, what.

Liz: A vibrator. You know, a sex toy. It works like those iDogs, except you insert into your favorite erogenous zone and it vibrates with the beat of the music.

Jolene: Oh, no then. Oh god no then.

Liz: So, you can’t help me today?

Jolene: Oh no, I um, I don’t think we sell that! But when you find it, you call me back and let me know!

Hopefully she’ll spread the word to the rest of the folks at Apple. Hell, maybe Steve Jobs will introduce it as the next Macworld convention, right next to the iPhone 2.

If the idea of throbbing bass, pulsating beats— oh yeah, and a vibrator— gets you going, too, you’ll want to check out this product. To enhance your experience while you, uh, pump out the jams, OhMiBod has even designed accessories to complement the vibrator. There’s everything from a garter belt to a special sleeve that allegedly will add a “softer, velvety” side to things.

No iPod? No problem; you won’t be left out. Even though OhMiBod’s Web site says it is specially designed for the iPod, it will work well with any device that has a 3.5mm audio out option (headphone jack). Even your computer. Or, you know, your car. But they don’t recommend it.


What I’d recommend: a night alone, a playlist full of fun songs (Peaches, Spank Rock and Girl Talk would probably do the job), a bottle of lube and, of course, OhMiBod.

For more information, including the OhMiBlog (testimonials) and “Club Vibe” (a place to access playlists that will get you really rocking and rolling) visit: OhMiBod.com

*Remember to give the same care to OhMiBod that you would with any other toy. Keep it clean, and for fuck’s sake, use a condom if you’re planning to share.

Original Poetry by Andrew Lello

SANG VITA

He appeared as the horizon blurred itself out of existence.

Feet light on the wood,
His fingers curled around the porch rail.

Leaning into the unmasking of the stars, he greeted old friends.
He had not spoken for days.
He was hungry
For human
Contact.

Her wheels whispered on the long driveway as she approached the hill

Against the night, the house waited, black.
He met her smiling.

Time’s charm and wit danced hollowly over bone-deep boredom
She watched as she followed him.
Her heart skipped.
His did not
Beat.

Inside, she had suddenly talked herself into a loudly silent room.

A power surge. Darkness.
Her breathing was the only sound she heard.

His voice, was masochistic guilt.
“If I’d known then, things would be different…
I’m so sorry
I miss
You.”

ROOM CLEANIN'


Room cleanin’. Soap cleanin’.
Cleanin’ up my mess
Knocks on your door
Knocks on your soul
Happy and growing
You’d be surprised
Heart stoppin’. Mind pumpin’
Thumping in my throat
Grabs me and kisses me
Says that she misses me
Laughing and loving
Glad to be home.
Mouth workin’. Leg jerkin’
Always “so this is love”
Then we lie on the bed
‘cause she’s a sleepyhead
Whisper us into it
Bedtime for now.

Civil Disobedience Turns Naughty

The Global Orgasm project was started by two aging hippies with a penchant for science and a dream of peace. Sexy peace. It's not a huge surprise that the Global Orgasm was started by Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffel, the same couple who began Bare Witness, a group that protests the war in Iraq by spelling out Peace with their naked bodies. Sex and political activism seem to be their M.O. The cool thing is, it's working.

The Global Orgasm Project was started on the idea that when large amounts of people are concentrating on a single event, all of that focused mental energy can have a physical effect on the energy field of the earth, called the Quantum Field. A group of scientists from Princeton actually study fluctuations in the Quantum Field and have noticed measurable changes during events like 9/11 and the Indian Ocean Tsunami, and also during sessions of mass meditation and prayer.

What Donna and Paul are hoping for is a measurable amount of positive, peaceful, loving energy to flood the Quantum Field, and what better way to do that than by devoting an entire day to positive, peaceful, loving orgasms? On December 22, at any time (or even better times) and place you want, lend a hand to the project.

There's just something about volunteering and helping others that gives you a certain glow and leaves you completely satisfied. Oh wait....


www.barewitness.org
www.globalorgasm.org
http://wooster.facebook.com/event.php?eid=2219517189&ref=nf (Global Orgasm day facebook group)

The Times, They are A-Changin'

The Democrats are sitting pretty in the House and Senate. Rumsfeld is out of office. Sixty-three percent of Americans are shaking their heads in disapproval of George Bush. Put it all together and it spells a radical change in our political climate. As one of the touchier issues of our time, sexual rights in this country are going to see some major alterations. So, here is the Official Head Rundown, comparing the old sexual policies with the new, to give you a taste of our collective future. Think of us when you’re deciding whether or not to flee the country for a life of absinthe and unfiltered cigarettes.

WHAT’S HAPPENING ON A NATIONAL SCALE:
0.GAY RIGHTS
In Virginia, Wisconsin, Colorado, South Dakota and South Carolina, same sex marriages are banned, as are civil unions between same sex couples. Idaho also passed its ban on same sex marriage, but have yet to touch civil unions.
In Arizona, however, 51% overturned a similar initiative on same sex marriage.
ABORTION
In Oregon and California, minors aged 15-17 no longer need to notify and get consent from a parent or guardian before having an abortion.
Further east, South Dakota’s attempt at making abortion illegal was turned down by voters.
Missouri now allows stem-cell research consistent with federal regulations.

THE NEW BOSS
Let’s get to know George Bush’s new appointee to the Federal Office of Population Affairs, Dr. Eric Keroack. He’s the medical director of A Woman’s Concern, who’s contraceptive policy reads: "A Woman's Concern is persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality and adverse to human health and happiness.” This organization opposes contraception saying it increases out-of-wedlock pregnancy. Bush granted him a budget of $283 million dollars.
0. Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/11/17/ family.planning.ap/ index.html

IF YOU WANT THIS MAN OUT OF OFFICE, SIGN THE OFFICIAL PLANNED PARENTHOOD PETITION at: http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/replace_keroack2?rk=e1SVt_61gEBSW

DOWN HOME OHIO POLICIES
0.The Old Boss:
DeWine-0% rating by NARAL (National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League) indicating a pro-life stance.
(1) Supported the Global Gag Rule-read about this law at http://www.populationaction.org/resources/publications/ globalgagrule/
(2) “One of the United States Senate’s strongest advocates in supporting efforts to protect the lives of unborn children. He is fighting tirelessly to ensure that those who cannot speak have a voice.”
(3) Voted “no” on adding sexual orientation to the definition of hate crimes.
(4) Abortion non-discrimination act.
(5) Supports legislation including unborn as victims of crimes.
(6) Supports ban on gay-marriage. http://www.issues2002.org/Senate/Mike_DeWine.htm http://dewine.senate.gov/
0.The New Boss:
Sherrod Brown: 100% rating by NARAL for pro-choice stance.
(1) Opposed state gay-marriage ban and same-said constitutional amendment.
(2) Supports stem-cell research.
(3) Voted no on special funding for health care providers who don’t provide abortion information.
(4) Opposes global gag rule.
(5) Voted no on banning human cloning for medical research.

Ted Strickland Versus Kenneth Blackwell
Blackwell believes, according to his website, that, “Ohioans do not believe the propaganda that keeping marriage intact hurts our economy . . . Marriage is the foundation of our society and deserves our respect and protection” as well as holding firm that marriage is between one man and one woman. Ted Strickland has actively voted against the constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and against banning adoption by gay couples in Washington DC.
Along with defending poor, defenseless hetero marriage, Blackwell believes that the first priority of a government is the protection of innocent life. “All innocent life is sacred and should be protected.” Strickland supports the innocent lives of women who need abortions, except in the cases of partial birth abortions and the transportation of minors through state lines in order to get abortions.

written by: Stewart Campbell and Meredith Wilson

HPV Vaccine Update

The vaccine may be out and available, but it might be harder than we thought to get it through the Wellness center. Because of a lack of advertising, very few people signed up to receive the shots, so only 24 were ordered, enough for eight people. There's a waiting list, also unadvertised, and more doses will be ordered as people sign up. Next time you're over by Kitt, just pop in to Longbrake and put your name on the list, and Lori, the lovely angel of organization behind the front desk, will contact you when your vaccine arrives.

Mopey Bastards Have More Sex

The results of the Head facebook group poll "Favorite Album to have Sex to" have been counted and recounted, tallied and tabulated, and your choices ended up being all over the place. Since you guys are so damn eclectic, I had to go with favorite band instead. And the winner is...


RADIOHEAD!!!!

Followed closely by...

Nine Inch Nails, the Stooges, David Bowie, and good old fashioned quiet.

And the answers that made us do a double take...

The Boondock Saints Soundtrack and the song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf

Original Photography by...

Izabella Redzisz